From a Word from Becky, my monthly newsletter to my readers
Dear friends,
I remember the moment in vivid detail that my call within the call was born. It was in a workshop room at a conference center in Santa Clara, CA in fall of 2018. It was the first time I spoke intentionally on the idea of the inner chapel and the promises of God we discover when we nurture our interior life. As the workshop came to a close and people came to speak to me, I saw a sister in a full habit waiting in the corner of the room waiting for people to leave so she could talk to me. I continued to listen to people as they came up after the workshop. There was something about her face and patient posture that caught my attention. I did not know what she was going to speak to me about, but I could feel the Holy Spirit readying me to hear her words. It was as if the Holy Spirit was telling me, “Becky, pay attention. Pay attention. Be ready.”
The last person in line left the workshop room. My eyes turned to the sister waiting in the corner. She slowly approached, and as she got closer, I saw tears streaming down her face. I could feel the Holy Spirit softening and preparing my heart to receive whatever she was bringing me. I knew whatever it was God was urgently beckoning me to notice, to hear, and to receive what she was bringing. She made her way to stand about two feet in front of me, tears continuing to roll down her face. She finally spoke. Words that changed everything for me. Words that pivoted the direction of ministry. Words that birthed a call within my call.
How come no one ever told me what you just told us in this workshop?
I asked her. What do you mean, sister? She continued.
I have been a sister for thirty years. I daily pray the rosary and say other prayers with my sisters. I attend Mass frequently. In all my years, no one ever told me I could have the type of intimacy with Jesus you just shared with us in this room. I did not know the depth of the promises of God on such a personal level was even possible. How do I come to know what God has given you?
Her words changed everything for me. I cannot recount the number of times I have played this moment over and over in my head. Nor can I count the number of times I spoke to God about this moment. Both the sister and I had a “scales falling from our eyes” moment.
For her, the scales fell to open her eyes to the ever-expanding infinite depth of a relationship with God. I could sense the Holy Spirit opening her heart to long for “the more”. A longing that I knew then, and I still know now. The Holy Spirit drawing me and drawing all of us ever closer. A longing I know you have experienced or are experiencing right now. A longing the people we walk with in life and in ministry have experienced or are experiencing.
For me, the scales fell to see the invitation to offer others what God gave me through the understanding of contemplative prayer and discernment. God helped me understand through the accompaniment of others. Since that moment in 2018, I have asked God to show me how to offer others and how to share with others what so many cared enough to teach me and to offer me.
So it is with this holy memory that I write today to invite you to let me share what I received with you. I want to offer you the path of prayer that has guided me for decades now. It is a path of prayer that keeps me from losing hope. It is a path of prayer that allows me to draw from a well beyond what I can humanely offer to others in times of suffering. I want to share with you what I began to intentionally share that day in Santa Clara. I want to offer you what I offered the sister. A pathway to live and to lead with Jesus.
As always, know I am praying for you!
Peace,
Becky
Photo by Alex Krivec by Unsplash
Becky Eldredge
March 27, 2023