From Live and Lead, my monthly newsletter to my readers
Dear friends,
“How will you know what God is asking of you?” This question from my spiritual director, in the first few days of my eight-day retreat, stopped me in my tracks. He asked it in passing, as he named back to me what he heard me saying. I paused him. “Wait. That question really resonates within me.”
I held that question in silence for a moment. It was as if months of prayer and conversation with God became clear in minutes. The deep desire of my heart was suddenly clarified before me. I yearned to know how God communicates with me in this season of life—and, even more importantly, in this season of leadership.
I shared with my spiritual director how many mentors of mine in spirituality, who I once looked to for guidance, are no longer there. Some have died. Others have retired and are in a new season of life. Many are aging, and they are intentionally passing the baton of leadership to others—including me. I shared how I was not always sure how to find my way right now in leadership, and how it felt like God had changed our way of communicating but did not clue me in on the new way. It was making me feel lost.
My spiritual director listened intently. Then he asked me, “How do you think Moses knew what to do? Or Peter or Paul after Jesus? Or leaders of our modern day in ministry?” He went on, “How do you think you have found your way these past years—pivoting your ministry virtually, following where God called you, and creating Ignatian Ministries?” I looked at him with what felt like a blank stare and said, “I don’t know.” He cackled in laughter and began to point out to me what now feels obvious as I type this. He said, “They found their ways through holy knowings.”
He used Moses as an example first and mentioned that Moses found his way through holy knowings inspired by God. He gave examples of Peter and Paul finding their way after Jesus’ Ascension. He shared stories of Pope Francis, a religious sister who was a Mother Superior he knew, and a few lay leaders. He even echoed back a few things I had shared with him in the days prior about me finding my way through holy knowings.
It was like a light bulb came on in my heart and head! I spent the rest of the day pondering deeply this naming of “holy knowings”. I saw how God had illuminated my way through a deep sense of knowing what to do— knowings that drew on my lived experience, decades of conversation with God in prayer, hundreds of hours of listening to others, and an intuition to discern the Holy Spirit and shift as needed.
I thought of one of the metaphors I taught this spring from Ignatius’ Second Rules of Discernment: testing to see if the invitation feels like a welcome houseguest coming into my heart or an intruder making a mess. If it feels like a welcome guest, we can trust it’s from the Holy Spirit.
The power of naming “holy knowings” as a way God communicates to me birthed tremendous freedom. It felt like the veil was pulled back from my eyes. I could suddenly find my way forward with God. The words “holy knowing” resonate deeply in my core and increase my hope in yet another way God communicates with me.
Leading can make us feel lonely. We may feel like no one is around us to help us find an answer or a way— especially when the problem feels complex or we are being invited to lead in Mystery. These last five years, I’ve felt like this many times. What I realize now is that God was right there with me the whole time—helping me know the next step to take, letting me know when I needed to shift with the Spirit and go in a new direction. I did not always have data or evidence as to why, but I had a deep sense of knowing this was what I was supposed to do.
I offer these words to you today for your own call to lead with Christ. How might God be inviting you to trust your “holy knowings”? These are moments that feel like Spirit-filled intuition—where God is inviting you to trust God speaking to you through your lived experience, your intellect, your gifts and to also trust your well-tuned ear and heart, which knows the movement of God within you. You might feel these as you find your way in family life, with friends, or in ministry.
As I continue to ponder “holy knowings” in my life, I realize I trust them most as a mom. I also trust God speaking to me through them as I listen as a spiritual director. But in the places of leadership, I question them the most. God reminded me of my own words—words I share when teaching other spiritual directors: “Trust yourself trusting God.”
I invite you to do the same: trust yourself trusting God. Pay attention to those “holy knowings”—and when they feel like a welcome houseguest entering your heart, follow them with courage. In doing so, you are following God’s leadership, which in turn will impact how you lead others!
Know of my prayers for you!
Peace,
Becky
Photo by Curated Lifestyle on Unsplash
Becky Eldredge
July 10, 2025