From a Word from Becky, my monthly newsletter to my readers
Dear friends,
I write today with a mix of emotions. We are 8 days away from birthing Ignatian Ministries into the world. 8 days! I feel excited. I feel relieved. I feel fear. And mostly I feel thankful. So very thankful.
I cannot write or talk about Ignatian Ministries these last few days without tears welling in my eyes and beginning to roll down my cheeks. They are tears of consolation. My tears speak the gratitude to God that my words will never adequately capture. My tears also speak of the awe I feel as I stand in utter amazement at the Mystery of how we got here. My tears also hold the sadness of an ending and the hope of a beginning.
The Holy Spirit continues to invite me to trace the threads of Mystery that God wove together in this birth. I will spend the rest of my life standing in awe, like Moses at the burning bush, at what God unfolded in this journey that led to the birth of Ignatian Ministries. All I can do is gaze in wonder and awe. My biggest fear as we step forward is lacking the words to adequately honor and express what God has done.
The journey of birthing Ignatian Ministries has felt like living and leading in deep waters, where my feet can’t touch the ground, and I cannot see what’s under me or ahead of me. There was not a clear map or direction. The invitation was to trust God’s presence and to pay attention to the Holy Spirit’s mysterious currents calling me and carrying me into deeper and deeper waters.
Life’s currents led me to some of the hardest and darkest moments of my faith and my life – the losses of both my grandparents, the death of a dear friend, suicides of our priest and our young neighbor, Covid-19 that turned our family life upside down, floods and hurricanes, learning to accompany our children through upheaval and grief. There were days I grasped to hang onto hope. My faith was challenged. I had to wrestle with hard questions of faith. Do I believe God is here, even in these dark times?
On more than one occasion, I cried out to God asking, “Why are you calling me to lead right now? I don’t know what I am doing, and I have no idea where we are going.” The invitation was always just to take the next step into Mystery and trust God would unfold the way.
Somehow alongside these challenging years, God brought forth new life. Books published. Virtual ministry was born. God gathered people from around the world to join together and form a community. Without having any set plan, I suddenly realized God was asking me to create and lead something more than my author platform. Even 8 days from launch, I still feel surprised by this invitation.
Today begins the last Into the Deep series on my website. It is fittingly called, “Living and Leading in the Deep.” Chris starts our series off with his experience of watching God multiply the loaves and fishes these past years. In October, this blog will move over to Ignatian Ministries to live there so that it has even more room to expand and lift voices and wisdom. In the weeks ahead, I’ll make sure you know how to subscribe to keep receiving the blog each Monday.
So I come to you today, asking for your prayers. I am begging God for courage to bring Ignatian Ministries forward. I am begging God for freedom to let go of what was, including my author platform as we all know it, in order to let God unfold the Mysterious dream that is being born. I am begging for wisdom and discernment to be able to hear and to follow the currents of the Holy Spirit that are carrying this forward. I am begging for the ability to surrender to the current that is carrying me and all of us into the deep.
Last week, we invited all of you to be part of the launch team to bring Ignatian Ministries into the world and to join us for our launch party on August 10th at 7pm CDT! If you have not filled out the launch team form, please do so here.
Know of my prayers for you! May we have the courage this week to step out into the deep and surrender to the Holy Spirit’s Mysterious current in our lives.
Peace,
Becky
Photo by A.C. for Unsplash
Becky Eldredge
August 7, 2023